Your Thoughts Aren’t Always Telling the Truth!

How to Spot and Shift Unhelpful Thinking

We have thousands of thoughts every single day. Some are random, some are helpful, and others… not so much. A lot of the time, our mind throws ideas at us like warning signs: “What if something goes wrong?”, “What if they’re upset with me?”, “What if I fail?”. These thoughts usually come from a place of protection, our brain trying to keep us safe. But here’s the thing: just because a thought feels urgent or true doesn’t mean it is.

In my work as a counsellor, and in my own personal experience, I’ve seen how often our thoughts can lead us down unhelpful paths. Thoughts can feel incredibly real and convincing, but that doesn't make them facts. Our mind isn’t a fortune teller. It can’t predict the future, and it certainly doesn’t control it.

You might find yourself imagining the worst-case scenario and believing it completely. Maybe that fear has come true before, and now your brain is wired to assume the worst every time. It’s a kind of mental habit and one that can feel hard to break.

Here are just a few common thinking traps I see all the time:

All-or-nothing thinking: “I have to get it right, or I’ve completely failed.”

Catastrophising: “My boss wants to speak to me, which means that I must have done something terribly wrong.”

Overgeneralising: “No one ever likes me.”

Mind reading: “I could tell from her face that she didn’t want me there.”

Emotional reasoning: “I feel anxious which means I am in danger”.

Sound familiar?

 These patterns can be so automatic that we don’t even realise we’re doing them. And when our thoughts go unchallenged, they shape how we see ourselves, others, and the world, even if they’re completely inaccurate.

What’s interesting is how quickly we dismiss evidence that contradicts these thoughts. If something good happens, for example if someone smiles or praises our work, we often brush it off. It doesn’t “fit” the story we’re used to telling ourselves. So we ignore it, and the unhelpful pattern continues.

But what if we didn’t ignore it? What if we pause, reflect, and ask: “Is this thought actually helpful? Is it realistic? What’s the evidence for and against it? How important is this thought going to be in a year from now?”.

This shift doesn’t mean ignoring reality. It means developing a balanced, grounded, and more compassionate way of thinking. And from that place, we can build resilience, confidence, and better ways of responding to challenges.

So next time your mind throws a scary or critical thought your way, try this:

Pause. Notice it. Challenge it. And remember… your thoughts aren’t always telling the truth!